Hayes Tour 2016

The much anticipated first Scottie Tour of the new season was, as usual, preceded by a stomach lining breakfast at The Sicilian. The café was very busy and the Sicilian informed us he was off back to Sicily in a couple of days for a well-earned break. Full up, we eased on to the London bound train, which was packed. Standing room only as there were many Premier League matches in the capital, as well as the Rugby Union Challenge Cup Final at Wembley, so the train was full of Northern Monkeys.

With the connecting trains being helpful we were in Hayes in no time and had a quick pit stop in the Old Crown, a short walk from the station. On entering the pub, all the locals stopped in their tracks as they smelt new fresh blood. Just like a scene in an old western, after some seconds staring, they continued with their daily grind. No ale was available, so we had a quick Guinness and a sprinkle and made off for the Botwell Inn.

The Botwell is a large Wetherspoon’s pub which opened in 2000, following a conversion from furnishers Moore and Son. The walls are painted deep red and are adorned by modern art paintings, along with a biography of George Orwell, who taught in the area. Regular beers from Adnams, Hogs Back and Windsor & Eton.

       

With the Powerhouse Porter by Sambrook's Brewery on special offer, this was given a good hiding, as well as the Adnams Ghost Ship. With kick off looming and Kev moaning about how far the ground was, we called a couple of taxis. Bearing in mind that the taxi firm we called, sponsor Hayes & Yeading Football Club, you would think that they knew where the ground was. Both on the way to the ground and back to the pub following the match, we had to give directions to the drivers. Very poor show.

Hayes & Yeading’s new ground is very nice, but is yet to be completed, which meant that all food and drink was prepared in the car park, a little like the American pre match tailgates. A ground which could comfortably hold a few thousand looked shockingly empty with only 225 in attendance. The home fans had the cheek to taunt us with songs about coming in a taxi, unaware that we had in fact, come in two. Numpties.

The match itself was an entertaining affair, with another Alex Cathline goal taking the points back to Bedfordshire and sending the Regimentals back to the Botwell for a few beers, before heading back into London. With a quick pee stop and a pint of Parabellum Milk Stout from the Gun Brewery at the very busy Euston Tap, we headed to the quieter Mabels Tavern for a bit of a session.

Being a Shepherd’s Neame house, there was plenty of Whitstable Bay and Spitfire, as well as a tasty Spitfire Lager. With closing time looming the Regimentals headed for St Pancras to catch the train back to Luton, where Ian tried his best to encourage some audience participation and prove that not only Mum’s go to Iceland. HUH!

Merthyr Tour 2016

What a day! An early start had to pave the way with a full English at Tony’s, before the stroll to Creasey Park to board the coach. When the coach arrived we were told that it had no toilet facilities. A four hour coach journey without a WC would require some bladder control, especially on the way home.

Pulling into the services for a comfort break a very slick Marshall’s coach pulled in next to us with dark tinted windows. As the passengers alighted it was clear that it was the players from St Albans City on their way to Bath. With a few ex-Saints now plying their trade with the Blues and ex defender Ben Herd now at St Albans, it made for a little light hearted banter in the services. Back on the road and with a slight delay at passport control, we hit Merthyr at 13:30 and headed straight for the Winchester Bar on Castle Street.

From outside it looked closed, like most places in Merthyr, but on closer inspection we popped in and sampled a couple of pints of Rhymney ales. As a Rhymney Brewery owned pub it regularly stocks up to four of its own ales and we snaffled a couple pints of the Hobby Horse, a decent 3.8% bitter and the delightful Rhymney Gold, the local breweries first golden ale.

Next up, just around the corner on the High Street was the local Wetherspoon’s. As is their style, the establishment is named after someone local, in Merthyr’s case, Dic Penderyn. Dic Penderyn was a coal miner involved in the Merthyr Rising in 1831 and was hanged after being falsely accused of stabbing a soldier in the leg. Our visit to Merthyr was the 185th anniversary of his death.

Enough history, back to the beer. Here we tried another local bitter from the Cold Black Label a respectable 4.6% bitter called Miners Ale, a mental 6% bitter from the Bullmastiff Brewery, another Welsh brewery and the ever reliable Hobgoblin.

Although only a 10 minute walk away, the ground is quite a steep climb from the town centre and some of the Regimentals were blowing out their arses when they reached the top. Still, we were looking forward to our chip cob’s, until we discover the lady who buys the bread is on holiday. Apparently, only one person is able to buy bread!

On to the match, and what a match. The lead changed hands several times, we had wonder goals, penalty claims and a last minute winner in a 7 goal thriller. The players threw everything they had at the Martyrs, but two late goals left us with no points after narrowly losing 4-3 but with a proud bunch of fans and a squad of blue shirted heroes.

After applauding the players off the pitch, we popped down to the Polish sklep for some supplies for the trip home and headed back to the ground to sample a Speckled Hen or two in their beautiful new bar. Just as we had ordered another round, the players informed us the driver was keen to leave as he was pushed on his tacho. Quickly grabbing some plastic glasses we swiftly decanted our beers and boarded the coach back to England.

Remembering that we had no WC on board, we had a quick break before crossing the bridge and spent the next 3 hours jigging, fidgeting and precariously pissing in bottles until we stopped in Hemel to drop off some players. The bushes were well watered there! With a couple of night caps in the HQ Bar and Cooper’s, the day came to a close with cheerful celebrations, sore throats and heart breaking memories of another eventful trip to Welsh Wales.

The Brewhouse, Poole

With the season coming to a close, the Poole Town away match turned into somewhat of a damp squib. Poole had already won the league and were due to crown champions after the match, which meant we had to contend with the world and his dog, gloating that we had more flags than fans, why had we bothered turning up and that the Dolphins (The fucking Dolphins. Really? That is the best you could come up with) were going to batter us.

By half time, we tended to agree with them, to be fair. Anyway, the pub. The Brewhouse is owned by the Milk Street Brewery of Frome, where we had been a few days before and is set in the pedestrianised high street. Outside furniture allows drinkers to watch the world go by and the central bar has barstools and a small television.

A raised area to the rear hosts two pool tables and a digital jukebox leading onto an outside patio. Additional Milk Street beers are usually available, plus a guest ale and cider served directly from the cellar on gravity.

  

We were met by Deano’s uncle, who lives in Poole, for a couple of beers and we stuck to the enjoyable Milk Street beers. The Blonde Ale, a bright golden beer with fruity flavours coming in at 5% was ace and The Same Again, a 3.9% full-bodied session ale.

A note should we go again, after the Dolphins inevitable relegation, that parking is of a premium in Poole town centre, and that the car park on Hill Street is cheap and just behind the high street.

The Griffin, Frome

Every season we pray for Frome away on a Saturday and this season when the fixture list came out, one of the first fixtures we looked for was this one.

1. On a Saturday, tick. 
2. Does not clash with the FA Cup or Trophy, tick. 
3. In a warm, dry month, February, shit!

As expected the match was a wash out and led to us traveling down to Somerset on a Wednesday night in April. The drive down was as beautiful as ever, meandering around the Wiltshire countryside, past Stonehenge, skirting the edge of Salisbury Plain, before dropping into Somerset, over the River Frome and onto The Griffin.

The Griffin is the brewery tap for the Milk Street Brewery, situated at the back of the pub in what was, many years ago, a delightfully seedy blue cinema. A wide range of ales is produced along with seasonal beers and specials. The single bar retains some original features such as etched windows and wooden floor, but a stained glass Griffin behind the bar is, in fact, relatively new. Wednesday night is World Food Night, a small highlight of a midweek visit.

After drinking the Milk Street Amarillo, a very nice APA and the clearly mental 7.4% Imperial Russian Stout from the Liverpool Organic Brewery, Scottie purchased a mini keg of Zig Zag, the Milk Street Stout for consumption at home. Most of the brewery’s favourites are available in this form and at £20, are pretty good value too.

The match itself was pretty uneventful, until the referee gave the Blues a goal which was clearly 3 or 4 feet away from the goal line. The Frome centre half passed the ball back to the keeper, who fluffed it, but stopped it in time. We cheered, as if we had scored, and for some bizarre reason, he gave it. Dunstable eventually lost 4-3, so it mattered not.

Fingers crossed for next season. A Saturday in April please.

Boars Head, Hampton Lucy

At the beginning of the season, our first ever trip to the DCS Stadium, home ground of Stratford Town, had intended to be a Scottie Tour destination, but for various reasons was not to be. Therefore, the pubs sourced near the train station were no good for this visit as the DCS Stadium is a few miles from the city centre. Referring to the trusty Good Beer Guide, we found The Boars Head, in the sleepy village of Hampton Lucy. Set further up the River Avon, Hampton Lucy is four miles from Stratford and only has a population of 566.

The Boars Head is a cosy and attractive 17th Century free house owned by the local church when it was built as a cider house, the present kitchen originally being a mortuary. A sheltered rear garden is popular in the summer and the open fire in the bar is during the winter months. A former Warwickshire County Champion Pub of the Year 2010, it serves Ringwood Razor Back as a regular, plus has 4 changing beers.

  

Pushed for time after a terrible journey cross country we quickly got stuck into Mild High Club from the Bird's Brewery. This lovely mild, from a brewery thirty minutes away in Bromsgrove, had a full malty flavour with a creamy, nutty aftertaste with just a hint of dark chocolate. This was swiftly followed the Razor Back from Ringwood’s and at 3.8% is a decent session bitter.

Following the uneventful 0-0 draw at the DCS, we popped into one of the pubs earmarked for the Scottie Tour in the city centre. Situated next to the Swan's Nest Hotel, The Bear offers a beautiful riverside location with stunning views across the River Avon. A free house serving eight real ales, over 20 wines by the glass and tasty home cooked food, it is a definite return venue for next season on a Scottie Tour.

With the drive home looming, we sampled the Sadler's Mud City Stout, which was incredible. Brewed with raw cocoa, vanilla pods, flaked oats, wheat and a blend of dark malts, this stout is delicious, but packs a punch at 6.6%. A must for the Tour next season.

John O'Gaunt Inn, Hungerford

For a change the heavens had opened and we set off for Hungerford, fully expecting a call to say the match was off. The call never came. The game went ahead and the result dented Hungerford's play off ambitions, some what.

Forget the football, what about the pub. The John O'Gaunt Inn is in a beautiful setting in Hungerford. Seated next to a babbling stream, not a live stream, this ancient boozer staffed with Aussie's and Kiwi's is a place that you could easily lose yourself in.

A snug bar includes six hand pumps for beer. A changing selection of at least six real ales is regularly available, which includes a beer brewed at its sister pub in Wickham. The ales are supplemented by four real ciders. Additionally, some eighty bottled beers from around the world are offered, fifty of which are Belgian. Loddon Hullabaloo and Two Cocks 1643 Cavalier are their stables.

With such an amazing choice and kick off looming we only managed to sample Dirty Stop Out by Tiny Rebel, the 1643 Cavalier, the ever reliable Whitstable Bay Blonde Premium Lager by Shepherd Neame and a Schneider Weisse Original, an amber Bavarian wheat beer.

With such an outstanding pub, we were hoping that Hungerford's play off hopes would be dashed, so we could return next season, this time with a coach to aid the amount that could be quaffed. To be fair Dunstable Town tried their best to help us out, with an amazing 3-2 victory, with Steve Wales' 30 yard winner in the mud and rain being the pick of the bunch. Fingers crossed Hungerford will fail in their promotion bid or at least hope for a swift return, if they do make it, as a return to the John O'Gaunt is very much in order.

Laceys Ale & Cider House, Bideford

With Bideford in the bottom three and looking doomed, this looked like our last trip to Devon for a while. The club had laid on a coach and we therefore kicked off the day in Tony's Cafe. Slap up breakfasts before a good five hour coach journey are essential to soak up the pre-match beverages.

After a brief coffee and piss stop, we arrived in Bideford in good time and headed up the hill to Laceys, a short 5 minute work from the ground. Lacey's is a lively town centre bar, originally set up by Country Life Brewery as their brewery tap, but run independently since November 2012. The two regular real ales are still sourced from Country Life. Large double doors open onto the street in the summer.

We sampled the Old Appledore and the Reef Break, both Country Life Brewery fare and were most enjoyable. The famous jukebox got a good hammering, with its usual eclectic mix of music from Andy Williams to the Clash. This confused the locals no end and to be fair, were probably pleased once we left for the match.

The match itself was a "thrilling" 0-0. Dunstable made hard work of finishing off an already, if not mathematically, relegated team, the highlight being a looping punt from Steve Wales from the halt way line.

Post match hunger was building and fish and chimps were required. Fortunately, a decent chippy was just round the corner. It may not be a Scottie Tour, but planning is no less important. The happy drivers would not let anyone on the coach with our smelly fast food, so we tucked into them on the street outside the ground and prepared ourselves for the long journey home.