Hayes Tour 2016

The much anticipated first Scottie Tour of the new season was, as usual, preceded by a stomach lining breakfast at The Sicilian. The café was very busy and the Sicilian informed us he was off back to Sicily in a couple of days for a well-earned break. Full up, we eased on to the London bound train, which was packed. Standing room only as there were many Premier League matches in the capital, as well as the Rugby Union Challenge Cup Final at Wembley, so the train was full of Northern Monkeys.

With the connecting trains being helpful we were in Hayes in no time and had a quick pit stop in the Old Crown, a short walk from the station. On entering the pub, all the locals stopped in their tracks as they smelt new fresh blood. Just like a scene in an old western, after some seconds staring, they continued with their daily grind. No ale was available, so we had a quick Guinness and a sprinkle and made off for the Botwell Inn.

The Botwell is a large Wetherspoon’s pub which opened in 2000, following a conversion from furnishers Moore and Son. The walls are painted deep red and are adorned by modern art paintings, along with a biography of George Orwell, who taught in the area. Regular beers from Adnams, Hogs Back and Windsor & Eton.

       

With the Powerhouse Porter by Sambrook's Brewery on special offer, this was given a good hiding, as well as the Adnams Ghost Ship. With kick off looming and Kev moaning about how far the ground was, we called a couple of taxis. Bearing in mind that the taxi firm we called, sponsor Hayes & Yeading Football Club, you would think that they knew where the ground was. Both on the way to the ground and back to the pub following the match, we had to give directions to the drivers. Very poor show.

Hayes & Yeading’s new ground is very nice, but is yet to be completed, which meant that all food and drink was prepared in the car park, a little like the American pre match tailgates. A ground which could comfortably hold a few thousand looked shockingly empty with only 225 in attendance. The home fans had the cheek to taunt us with songs about coming in a taxi, unaware that we had in fact, come in two. Numpties.

The match itself was an entertaining affair, with another Alex Cathline goal taking the points back to Bedfordshire and sending the Regimentals back to the Botwell for a few beers, before heading back into London. With a quick pee stop and a pint of Parabellum Milk Stout from the Gun Brewery at the very busy Euston Tap, we headed to the quieter Mabels Tavern for a bit of a session.

Being a Shepherd’s Neame house, there was plenty of Whitstable Bay and Spitfire, as well as a tasty Spitfire Lager. With closing time looming the Regimentals headed for St Pancras to catch the train back to Luton, where Ian tried his best to encourage some audience participation and prove that not only Mum’s go to Iceland. HUH!

Merthyr Tour 2016

What a day! An early start had to pave the way with a full English at Tony’s, before the stroll to Creasey Park to board the coach. When the coach arrived we were told that it had no toilet facilities. A four hour coach journey without a WC would require some bladder control, especially on the way home.

Pulling into the services for a comfort break a very slick Marshall’s coach pulled in next to us with dark tinted windows. As the passengers alighted it was clear that it was the players from St Albans City on their way to Bath. With a few ex-Saints now plying their trade with the Blues and ex defender Ben Herd now at St Albans, it made for a little light hearted banter in the services. Back on the road and with a slight delay at passport control, we hit Merthyr at 13:30 and headed straight for the Winchester Bar on Castle Street.

From outside it looked closed, like most places in Merthyr, but on closer inspection we popped in and sampled a couple of pints of Rhymney ales. As a Rhymney Brewery owned pub it regularly stocks up to four of its own ales and we snaffled a couple pints of the Hobby Horse, a decent 3.8% bitter and the delightful Rhymney Gold, the local breweries first golden ale.

Next up, just around the corner on the High Street was the local Wetherspoon’s. As is their style, the establishment is named after someone local, in Merthyr’s case, Dic Penderyn. Dic Penderyn was a coal miner involved in the Merthyr Rising in 1831 and was hanged after being falsely accused of stabbing a soldier in the leg. Our visit to Merthyr was the 185th anniversary of his death.

Enough history, back to the beer. Here we tried another local bitter from the Cold Black Label a respectable 4.6% bitter called Miners Ale, a mental 6% bitter from the Bullmastiff Brewery, another Welsh brewery and the ever reliable Hobgoblin.

Although only a 10 minute walk away, the ground is quite a steep climb from the town centre and some of the Regimentals were blowing out their arses when they reached the top. Still, we were looking forward to our chip cob’s, until we discover the lady who buys the bread is on holiday. Apparently, only one person is able to buy bread!

On to the match, and what a match. The lead changed hands several times, we had wonder goals, penalty claims and a last minute winner in a 7 goal thriller. The players threw everything they had at the Martyrs, but two late goals left us with no points after narrowly losing 4-3 but with a proud bunch of fans and a squad of blue shirted heroes.

After applauding the players off the pitch, we popped down to the Polish sklep for some supplies for the trip home and headed back to the ground to sample a Speckled Hen or two in their beautiful new bar. Just as we had ordered another round, the players informed us the driver was keen to leave as he was pushed on his tacho. Quickly grabbing some plastic glasses we swiftly decanted our beers and boarded the coach back to England.

Remembering that we had no WC on board, we had a quick break before crossing the bridge and spent the next 3 hours jigging, fidgeting and precariously pissing in bottles until we stopped in Hemel to drop off some players. The bushes were well watered there! With a couple of night caps in the HQ Bar and Cooper’s, the day came to a close with cheerful celebrations, sore throats and heart breaking memories of another eventful trip to Welsh Wales.